Gary Smith: Speaker, Trainer, Personal Coach

Overcoming Procrastination August 23, 2009

Procrastination is a word most of us don’t want to deal with.  You may laugh at the contradiction contained in the preceding sentence, but it’s true.  None of us want to face the fact that, more times than we are willing to admit, we have not done things that we were supposed to do.  We don’t want to face procrastination in our lives because we are ashamed to admit that we don’t always do what we need to do when we need to do it.  My words of wisdom to you are:

• Get over being ashamed.  Procrastination is a bad habit, not a terminal illness.
• Procrastination is also a very prevalent human fault, so you are not alone!
• Learn to identify why you procrastinate and deal with it.

Have you ever asked yourself why you procrastinate?  How about asking a higher quality question?  What can we do to identify the sources of our procrastination, systematically eliminate them and, by doing so, learn to live more effective lives?

Procrastination keeps us from being the people we’re intended to become.  If that’s the case, why do we procrastinate?  I bet you can come up with some good reasons why you do.  Here are the reasons that are on the top of my hit list:

Fear of failure. Let’s face it, taking on challenges when we are not assured of success creates fear.  Fear drives our imagination to think of the worst possible outcomes which, in turn, lead to paralysis, sometimes in our thinking and sometimes physical.  Some people literally become unable to take action because the fear is so strong.

To avoid having to deal with difficult people or situations (or at least delay it as long as possible). Remember back to when you were in school.  How many of you waited until the night before a major paper was due before starting it?  You were procrastinating, putting off that ugly chore until the last minute.  It finally caught up to you when the fear of getting a failing grade became more powerful than not writing the paper.

Not wanting to get too far out of our comfort zones. We all have an invisible wall built around us called our “comfort zone.”  This wall defines where we believe our limits are and, although our beliefs about this comfort zone are almost always incorrect, they are strong enough to cause us angst when a situation requires that we operate outside these walls.

Want to beat procrastination at its own game?  Here are some ideas that will help:

1. Realize that procrastination is a universal “bad habit.”  Everyone in the world faces it at one point in time or another; most of us have faced it frequently throughout our lives.  Since everyone is familiar with procrastination, consider finding an accountability partner, someone who will be honest with you and challenge you to overcome procrastination on a daily basis.  Sometimes knowing that we are going to get a phone call asking us if we’ve dealt with a problem is enough to prod us into action.
2. Learn to deal with fear.  As an emotion, fear is neither good nor bad; it is neutral.  What makes fear good or bad is how we respond to it.  It becomes bad if our response to it is paralysis and inability to take action.  What we need to do is learn to look fear in the eye and take action in spite of it.  Try it and you will be pleased with the results.  You’ll also find that, like developing any other habit, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
3. When it comes to dealing with difficult people or situations, put these activities at the top of your list each day.  Doing so forces you to deal with them and get them out of the way.  It also frees you and gives you empowerment to successfully complete the rest of the day’s activities.
4. Practice getting outside your comfort zone by trying new things.  Learn a foreign language, travel to a strange country, learn and try some new ways to positively change your work, family, or church.  As you do these things, your comfort zone will expand and you will develop a consistent belief in your ability to move and change to meet any challenges (spelled opportunities) that you may face in life.

Procrastination is like any other bad habit.  If you replace it with good, action-oriented habits, it will fade away and your life will move to an entirely different level.

Understanding Courage August 8, 2009

I began developing the thoughts for this part of the newsletter as I sat on the beach on the south shore of Boston this past weekend.  I was reflecting on how very much I appreciate the price that all the members of our armed forces have paid and are paying to insure that we continue to enjoy our freedom and safety.  I also thought how wrong it is of us to take these freedoms for granted.

Thank you to each one of you who love our country and have fought to keep us free!!  We love, appreciate, and pray for you!

As I was following this train of thought, my mind began to dwell on the word “courage.”  What is courage really?  How do our soldiers have such courage in the face of sometimes overwhelming and fear-creating odds?  What can we learn about courage that will enable us to be better leaders?

Let’s deal with the first question.  What is courage?  Most people think of courage as bravery.  It is the opposite of cowardice.  That’s true, but is that all there is to courage?  Read the following words written by G. K. Chesterton:

“Courage is almost a contradiction in terms.  It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die.  “He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,” is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes.  It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers.  It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book.  The paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or brutal courage.  A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice.  He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it.  A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying.  He must not merely cling to live, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape.  He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape.  He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.”

When you think of it in Chesterton’s terms, would you consider yourself to be a courageous leader?  As a leader in your home, your business, your church, and your community, do you show the qualities of investing your life in others with an attitude of “whatever it takes”?

Chesterton’s definition talks about people who, when pushed to the verge of losing their lives, save their lives by being willing to die in order to live.  They will do whatever it takes, pay whatever price is required within the bounds of their very high personal integrity, to live.  What about us?  Most of us don’t find ourselves in situations where we are about to lose our physical lives, so does that mean that Chesterton’s comments don’t apply to us?  Absolutely not!

One of the great problems with Americans today is that our affluence has brought about indifference, and that indifference has led to a whole generation of leaders who are ineffective, not because they don’t know what to do, but because they lack the commitment to pull it off.  One statistic that proves this is the number of times senior executives change jobs in their careers.  The trend in this number has been on the rise since the 1950’s.  Why?  Why will leaders change jobs so many times in their careers?  At present, the average is about nine times.  Why?  I realize that there are exceptions in many instances, but I believe the primary root cause is that leaders have lost the courage, the pure, raw guts to invest themselves in their people and their organizations with the energy that comes only from a commitment to see it through…no matter what!

The funny thing, or perhaps sad is a better word, is that the lack of leadership doesn’t just show on the job.  It shows up in families where children are left to parent themselves because there is no leadership in the home.  It shows up in broken marriages (52% of couples in America divorce) because there is a lack of courage which leads to a commitment to see it through.  It permeates our churches where courage is almost a dirty word.

My friends, this country desperately needs leaders who have Chesterton’s definition of courage. Our homes need parents who will do whatever it takes to invest themselves, their values and energy, in their children so that another generation of solid leadership will emerge.  Our businesses need leaders who will invest themselves in their organizations and, when times get tough, will dig in for the long run and not jump to the next opportunity.  Our churches need leaders who will work to establish visions for the future and will invest themselves to see those visions come true.

Will you commit to being a leader with courage?  Will you pledge to work toward the election of those public servants who know and embody this kind of courage?  The future of our nation depends on you!

Never Underestimate the Worth of a Good Woman July 26, 2009

As my wife and I celebrated our 33^rd wedding anniversary, I recalled an old saying that reminds us that “behind every successful man are a great woman and a surprised mother-in-law”.  I don’t know that my mother-in-law was ever surprised or pleased by what Marty and I have accomplished with our lives, but I do know one thing for sure – I would never be where I am today without my loving wife.

The continuous tome in the personal development arena today seems to be aimed more and more at what you can accomplish.  To be honest with you, I am tired and get quite nauseated with all of this talk about what I can accomplish, what greatness lies within me, how I am responsible for shaping my own destiny, and how I will ultimately become what I choose to be.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I do realize that each of us is responsible for our lives, and I do believe that each of us has immense potential that we need to tap into and learn to use.  What I object to is the I, I, I focus – the mindset that negates my responsibility to society and the positive influence that others can have in my life.  It is the 2^nd part of the last sentence that I want to focus on today.

Although Marty and I have been married for 33 years, we have known each other for many more years than that, having met when we were just kids.  During all of the years we have known each other and been together, I can’t begin to enumerate the countless things she has done that have had a positive influence on my life.  Let me mention just a few:

• She has taught me much about love and commitment by living it every day.  What she is speaks so loudly that she doesn’t need to say anything.
• She has shown constant devotion and dedication to our family, and has raised, trained, and developed our daughters to be meaningful contributors to society.  At their young ages, they have already had an immense impact on their worlds.  Marty did this at a great personal sacrifice; it cost her a wonderful and rewarding career.
• She is a model of complete selflessness.  She always puts the needs of others ahead of her own and is always willing to sacrifice so that other’s needs can be met.
• Over the years, her support and encouragement have been the driving forces that have enabled me to always reach for the next level.  She has the unique ability to gently push me onward toward the accomplishment of my dreams while simultaneously encouraging me to maintain a balanced perspective on life (something that has always been a challenge for me).
• Finally, and perhaps most importantly, she has loved me when I was unlovable.  As I have faced the challenges of business, struggled to maintain a balanced perspective, and marched onward toward the definition and accomplishment of my dreams, she has been the rock to which I could always tie my anchor.  No matter what the storm, she has remained steady and unmoving.

After reading this, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I am immensely grateful that Marty is my partner.  You may be asking yourself what this has to do with the area of personal coaching and development.  Simply this:

We have been designed to be relational people, and we will never achieve or operate anywhere near our full potential if we isolate ourselves from others.

Read this statement again and let it sink in.

Each of us, no matter how intelligent or experienced we may be, has limited capabilities when we operate in isolation.  Over many years working as a coach and team builder, I have been amazed at how much more effective teams can accomplish compared to organizations where people work independently.  There is a unique set of dynamics that successful teams possess that allows them to produce quantum leaps in progress in their organizations.  While the dynamics vary with the type and make-up of the organization, perhaps the main benefits of the team structure derive from two things: group input and individual perspective.  Group input feeds more data into the hopper for analysis and individual perspective generally provides a broader view of the situation and helps to develop a more complete picture of the problem.  Both ultimately lead to better quality decisions and solutions.

One important point I want to make is that the need for a team is not limited to work, church, or participation in community organizations.  Whether you are single or married, having a personal team comprised of your husband, wife and children, your family, or a few select friends whom you trust and can rely upon, is critical for the definition and attainment of your dreams.  Operating alone in these circumstances is, at worst, a sure recipe for disaster and failure.  At the very least, it’s going to slow down your progress by months and maybe even years.

Where are you in the pursuit of your dreams?  Are you working in isolation or do you have your own “dream team”?  Are you on target with the accomplishment of your goals?  Is your work as rewarding as it should be?  If you are trying to make a go of it on your own, perhaps it’s time to begin thinking about reaching out to those around you who can offer ideas and input to your current situation.

In my life, I am blessed to have 4 wonderful divas (my wife and 3 daughters) who give me support and input on everything from my writing to the graphic designs used on our website and products.  In addition, I’ve been fortunate to cultivate relationships with my associates and other successful business owners who are happy to give me the benefit of their years of experience.

Here’s to the formation of your “dream team” and to speeding your progress toward the attainment of your dreams.  As always, if we can help in any way, please give us a call.

Social Media (Twitter) Followers: Quantity Does NOT Equal Quality July 12, 2009

I am fairly new to the social media scene.  I have a growing business and am interested in expanding the number of people who follow me on the internet.  In the long run, it is essential for the message I am communicating and will have an impact on my business.  Having said that, who wouldn’t be drawn to many of the sites popping up and promising increases in followers that amount to hundreds or thousands each day?  Many people are flocking to these sites by the thousands to increase their followers.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT IT WON’T WORK!!! WHY??

1. Quantity does not equal quality! Just because you have followers doesn’t mean that they are quality followers.  By quality, I mean that (a) they are following you by choice, (b) that they are interested in your message, or (c) that they will read or get anything from the messages you send.
2. The increase in numbers is temporary. As people follow you and see your messages, many of them will block or unfollow you because they don’t identify with your message.
3. The automatic follower messages clog the system. When signing up for the free version of these sites, individuals agree to allow the site message to be sent a number of times each day.  This quantity of messages being sent each hour (a) clogs the system, (b) makes it difficult for serious users to use the system effectively, and (c) hurts the reputation of the individual.

THE SOLUTION? Simple.  Build your list of followers the old fashioned way.  Make a positive contribution to the Twitter community.  The old biblical phrase definitely applies: “Give and it will be given to you…”

I learned this lesson the hard way.  I hope you all learn from my mistake!

Gary

gary@optechs.com

www.optechs.tel

Accomplish More! Get Organized! July 9, 2009

Calvin & Hobbes is one of my favorite comic strips.  When it was being published regularly, I used to look forward to seeing what insights were going to be revealed from the mind of Calvin, the precocious youngster who was the star of the strip.  Bill Waterson used the comic strip to teach a number of basic truths about life, but none were as poignant as the one where Calvin says, “God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things.  At the rate I’m going, I may never die!”

Once again, cartoons have given us a chuckle and, at the same time, rocked our world with the stabbing pain of reality.  In this particular case, the reality could hit from several directions, such as:

• What is it that God wants me to accomplish with my life?
• Am I ready to die?
• Why am I so far behind that I feel like I will never get caught up?

I would love to able to take the time to deal with each of these subjects, but today I want to deal with the last question.  In order to maintain harmony with the article above, the first thing we need to do is reframe the question in a more positive way.  Let’s try:

What are some key things that I can do to help myself accomplish the things that are most important to me in the time I have left on this earth?

Read this question carefully several times so that you understand the depth of what it is asking.  How many of you have:

• A solid focus and a consistent drive toward defining and accomplishing your top priorities?
• A working system that allows you to reach your goals on a consistent and timely basis?

Statistically speaking, only about 3% (3 people out of 100) can truthfully answer these questions in the affirmative.  While some people will look at a statistic like this and use it to excuse their lack of performance or bemoan their inability to accomplish their goals, I prefer to look at it as an opportunity for each of us to grow and improve.  Let’s face it, if only 3% of the people are doing this stuff, there’s plenty of room for us to learn how to do it!

I’ve mentioned before that your success in life is linked to the quality of the questions you ask so, if you were just starting your exploration of this subject, now would be a good time to get a piece of paper and write down some questions to get you thinking about this subject on a deeper level.  Since I’ve been working with this subject for a number of years and also have the benefit of research done by my colleagues in the personal development and achievement field, let me give you the top reason why people get behind and feel like they can never get caught up. 

Lack of organization!

Let me explain.  If you pick up almost any book that deals with the subject of goal setting and achievement, the first thing you will most likely be asked to do is to make a list of the goals you would like to achieve and decide when you want to reach them.  You will then be asked to prioritize your goals, develop an action plan, and work on accomplishing the tasks identified in the plan.  This is a very nice approach for people who are starting with a clean slate and have no other factors in life to plan around, but what about those of us who already have full plates between work, family, church, and community activities?  Chances are that creating a new set of goals under these circumstances does nothing more than add work to a list of other things that already aren’t getting done.  Talk about a recipe for frustration and failure!!

What are we to do then?  How can we overcome the frustration of an already busy life and find a way to define and accomplish our goals and priorities?  The answer is quite simple: we must plan from the bottom up, not from the top down.  You can’t start at the top and develop new goals until you first go to the bottom and deal with the issues of your everyday life.  You have to organize today’s business before you can plan tomorrow’s.  I teach a seminar that deals with this very subject. Although there isn’t sufficient space in this newsletter to give you even the Reader’s Digest version of the workshop, here are some suggestions to help get you started.

• Gather. Assemble all of the papers, notes, letters, and junk that you have spread all over your world and put them in one place.
• Process.
  • Take each piece of paper and ask (a) What is it? and (b) Can I take action on it now?
  • If you can’t take immediate action on it, eliminate it (trash can), file it as reference material, or put it in a special incubation file to be reviewed and worked on later.  Note: Make sure you have a tickler system to remind you to review your incubation file every 30 days.
  • If you can take immediate action, ask, “What is the next action I need to take?”
    • If the action will take less than 2 minutes to complete, DO IT!
    • Delegate the task to someone else, if appropriate, and create a follow-up file that you can review daily to make sure the task gets done.
    • If it will take more than 2 minutes, put it on your daily task list or calendar and prioritize it with your other tasks.
    • If there are multiple steps to be taken to reach a successful outcome, create a project, define the specific tasks, and then plan the actions to complete each task.
• Ground Floor. You need to stay focused on the gather and process steps until you have a system that allows you to keep track of your current activities and access needed information almost instantly.  To give you and idea on just how streamlined your system can be, in less than 6 months I went from having a desk piled with papers and an overflowing inbox to a simple spreadsheet on my laptop computer, a spiral-bound notebook for capturing important meeting notes and activities, a portable file folder containing six sub-folders, and my PDA.  With these simple tools and a cell phone, I can effectively run a multi-million dollar business from anywhere in the world.
• To the Top. Once you have the ground floor secured (i.e., the foundation of your success has been built), you are ready to add additional stories to your goal and achievement structure, including:
  • Areas of Focus. What key areas do you need to or intend to focus on during the next 6-12 months?
  • Short-term Goals. What are your short-term goals for the next 1-2 years?
  • Vision. What is your vision for the next 2-5 years?
  • Life. In the final analysis, what do you want your life to count for?

These areas can be defined from the bottom up or the top down, depending on how your thought processes work best.  The key is this: once you have your ground floor built and under solid control, you can add other goals and ideas and they will automatically flow into and be prioritized as part of your ground floor system.

Another key thing to remember is that, for a system of this type to be effective, you must be disciplined in maintaining it.  At the beginning of every week, I spend 2-3 hours reviewing my goals and planning my activities for the next 7 days.  In addition, I spend 15-30 minutes at the beginning of each day organizing the tasks to be accomplished that day.  It may seem like a huge time investment but, without exaggeration, I have increased my personal productivity 3 to 4 fold using this planning method.

I’ve given you a lot to think about and digest in this article.  Please don’t hesitate to call or e-mail me if I can help you in any way.  I am here to help you understand and integrate these principles and tools into your lives.  gary@optechs.com or visit www.optechs.tel.